This is the final installment of our New Mexico family adventure. While I could go on and on about the great time we had visiting my folks, I must wrap it up so that I can blog about current happenings. Too much going on to hold back… must… BLOG. (But I do miss you already, M&D.)
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Back to the surface after hiking underground for several hours, I was ready… TO SHOP. So I made a beeline to the gift shop while Catholic Dad, Grandpa and the CK’s sought after a Carlsbad Park Ranger to sign off on their Junior Ranger programs. Little did I know that as I purchased my usual souvenir coffee mug, refrigerator magnet, t-shirt, collectible spoon and postcards, Ranger Dick* was being difficult with the CK’s. Apparently, Ranger Dick was reluctant to hand out certificates and patches because the CK’s had not fulfilled the requirements to receive them. (Like they won’t do it later? *sheesh*) But after a little prodding by Grandpa who just happens to be a retired military officer with experience in giving orders, Ranger Dick gave in and handed them some nice little awards. (Nothing like a little intimidation.)

We finished up our shopping and headed to the parking lot to grab a quick meal in the RV before heading out to see the evening bat flight. The menu: lasagna Lean Cuisine (mine from Albuquerque’s Walmart) and Granny’s famous spaghetti for everyone else. Why did I choose the lasagna over G’s spaghetti? I figured Grandpa, Hubs and the kids needed all they could get after that long hike, and I could always grab some leftovers later. Call it a “Mom” thing. (Oh, and I’ve already had many years of Granny’s famous spaghetti, so now it was their turn to enjoy it.) At any rate, we were all starving after walking for several hours and licked our plates clean in no time. Yum.

Rested with full bellies, we noticed a new stream of cars heading back into the park and realized the bat flight was about to begin. So again we walked down toward the natural cave entrance and found our places in the amphitheater seating area. The Park Ranger Chick stood in front of the group and described what we were about to see: HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF BATS TAKING FLIGHT OUT OF THE CAVE. Really? I must see it to believe it. So we sat and waited patiently. Meanwhile, little birds swooped in and out of the cave as if to tempt those THOUSANDS of bats out of there as we waited some more. Then Catholic Son asked Grandpa, “Hey, is that a bat?” Sure enough… it was! And we proceeded to watch silently as a swirling cloud of bats streamed out of the cave for at least 20 minutes straight. Holy. Freaking. Guano. Talk about the perfect grand finale to our visit—it was the craziest thing we’d ever seen!

The rest of our New Mexico visit went so fast that it was like a blur to me. Back at the RV park, “J” the retired Marine neighbor shared his campfire coals with us so that we could roast marshmallows for our S’mores, and I started getting the beds ready. We all crashed hard that night, then we took the RV back to the house the next morning where we repacked through the late afternoon and early evening. With our return flight leaving at 7:00 a.m. the following morning, we woke up early and headed out the door by 5:00 a.m. Hugs… kisses… sad goodbyes to Granny and Grandpa, then Catholic Girlie and I were off to do a little more souvenir shopping in the Albuquerque airport before boarding our plane… the one where I met Carson* the Flirty Flight Attendant. (Don’t even try swiping my Gardettos and headphones again, Mister. Catholic Dad is onto you, and he’s tough.)

*Names altered to protect identities.

If it weren’t for the adrenaline surging through me after the eventful morning, I would’ve plopped right back down on the RV “bed” and fallen back to sleep at 6:00 a.m. But instead the kids, Hubs and I hunkered down on a power breakfast of Pop Tarts, mini-donuts, dry cereal and FOLGERS. Oh yeah! Then I freshened up as much as I could given the lack of decent public shower facilities, whilst carefully heeding Granny’s advice: STAY DOWNWIND. (That applied to all grown-ups in our group, right Granny? As if I was the only smelly one? *pfft*)

The drive to Carlsbad Caverns from the RV park took less than 30 minutes, but that didn’t stop the Catholic Kids from playing a game of Nintendo Super-Mario-Something-Rather. Or me from working on my “easy” Sudoku puzzle. Oh and yes, the Hubs from working on his “medium” puzzle. (I fully expect that out of you, Mister. You’re a professional engineer, remember?) Then BAM, we were THERE. Let the fun begin! (So exactly where is the bathroom?)

After renting our audio self-guided tour devices (aka “talking surge suppressors”) and signing the CK’s up for the Junior Ranger program in which they could earn actual BADGES, we set off on the trail leading us into the Natural Entrance of the cave. Down we went… at which time I turned to Catholic Hubs and said, “I don’t think I spent enough time on the elliptical for this little journey.” Rut-roh. Too late.

Further and further we descended into the cave with more shock and awe every few feet in all directions. Amazing rock formations were everywhere! Stalactites, stalagmites and draperies, all with strategically placed lights throughout. Words just can’t describe everything we saw along our @3 mile tour inside Carlsbad. Knowing that would be the case, we took lots of photos to share. But even the photos cannot capture the experience. For lack of a better word, what we saw was nothing less than spectacular.

However… now I’d like to talk about the cafeteria down there at the bottom of the cave. Um, hello? Don’t Cavern Park Rangers realize that by the time visitors make it all the way down to the bottom, they’re VERY HUNGRY PEOPLE? I mean think about it. First, Cavern Park Ranger Dude strips us of all our food and drinks before we could even enter the cave (”Rules are strictly enforced”), then we work off our power breakfasts and arrive at the bottom of the cave completely famished. But huh? The school cafeteria back home has more selection than what we found at the Cavern food joint. Get some food down there people!!

Ok *stepping down from my soapbox* I must admit that the natural beauty and wonder of the Cavern experience speaks for itself, and the complete “Black Out” encounter during our King’s Palace ranger-guided tour will never be outdone—food or no food. Oh, and let’s not forget the grand finale of it all: Riding the elevator back to the surface, 750 feet in 1 minute. Someone was thinking there.

Next: The Bat Flight.

Finally we reached our resting stop in the RV park where we dropped anchor for the night. Oh what a night it was, let me tell you. Right off the bat, Grandpa became instant buddies with J, the retired marine neighbor. (What is it with military people? They instantly bond wherever they go!) As he chatted with his new friends (J’s wife was there, too), CS and I threw the football around in the dark and walked Coco out to the public restrooms. (Yes, a girl must check those out wherever she goes… and OH. MY. G%$#!@. ICK!!!) Precisely when I formulated a plan to NOT use the flea-mosquito-rat-ridden facilities for the rest of our RV park visit and call it a night.

So we converted all seating arrangements into actual beds and conked out to the sound of 100 mph winds. That is, everyone fell asleep within 5 minutes flat except Catholic Mom next to Catholic Dad as she prayed she’d drift off like everyone else. But my mind continued racing. I had visions of anything but sleep, like maybe a tall glass of Chardonnay to take off the edge. Nuthin’ doin’. Again, another night of no sleep. That is until my bladder took over @5:00 a.m. and I tip-toed to the RV bathroom… but wait? My socks were getting wet? Did I hold it too long? What… why is the toilet running over with water flowing all over the floor???!

Executive decision: WAKE UP GRANDPA.

As it turned out, every single RV in the park had water backup problems that day. So as Grandpa investigated our bathroom issue, Granny slept and the rest of us dragged our bladder-filled selves to the flea-mosquito-rat-ridden facility and were greatly relieved. As they say, “It’s all relative.”

Next: To Carlsbad Caverns we go!

Driving into Roswell was not what we expected. This place was a modern, thriving city with all the standard shopping centers and fast food joints that you’d find in any up-and-coming town in the USA. So this was where aliens chose to land? This place that could be our own hometown? You’ve got to be kidding. Even so, we were drawn in closer to the inner city… the place where it all happened:

THE ROSWELL INCIDENT

I won’t go into detail about what happened when you can click there and learn about it for yourself. But I will say that the museum displays actual EVIDENCE for any non-believers out there. EV-I-DENCE. I’m talking actual afidavits blatantly covering the truth about alien landings to divert attention from the media. I won’t tell you that I believe in aliens, but I will say that I read these documents firsthand and don’t know what is truth or fiction anymore. Whom do we trust? Government? Or evidence? Not those freaky fake aliens in the museum… but the documentation does speak for itself.

After all was said and done in our UFO museum visit, we walked away with great photos, postcards, alien refrigerator magnets, and some crazy sour candy that was pushed on the CK’s by the wacky sales clerk and spit out by CS soon after putting it in his mouth. *ick*

Next: Off to the RV park.